You Are Doomed. Congratulations!
Class of 2020, welcome to your virtual commencement address. Please mute your microphones.
You don’t need me to tell you that the Class of 2020 is like no other. A world locked down over a virus caused your senior year to go off the rails.
Some of you were probably happy to get out of classes and in-person tests, but you were denied the reward that every other senior before you received for faithfully attending school for so many years – the joy of the final countdown to graduation.