……………. “the candidates being considered for Town Manager is a confidential personnel human resources matter. The names of the candidates are therefore not made available to the public.”
Furthermore, the name of the new Town Manager after they have been hired will not be made public pending notification of next of kin who may want the applicant to find employment closer to home because property taxes in Brattleboro are unaffordable.
According to this unnamed spokesperson at an unknown location, not making public the name of a new Town Manager before, during, and after they are hired is legal under the new Brattleboro Town Plan: Revision # 345,992: Title 3: Chapter 7: Section 1B: Subsection 22: Paragraph 5: Sentence 29: Footnote 112. Copies of this highly acclaimed prize winning town plan bound in leather and gold lettering with an introduction written by Madeline Kunin is now available for purchase for $26.95 at Home Depot, Pizza Hut, Whitman’s Salon, Kings Bowling Alley, First Run Video, and Friendly’s Restaurant on Putney Road.
The unnamed spokesperson at an unknown location informed iBrattleboro that everything regarding human resources is a private personnel matter that should not be made public even if the applicant for town manager accepts or refuses the job offer. Any violation of their right to confidentiality during or after their interview process is punishable by the leaker having to watch BCTV recordings of BUHS school board meetings which, according to the terrorists at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba, is far more excruciating than waterboarding.
According to this unnamed spokesperson at an unknown location, if and when a new Town Manager is finally hired, the decision has been made by the Selectboard during a secret executive session that the identity of the individual they hire will remain confidential throughout their term of employment. Other than the Selectboard, only the new Police Chief, who has not been hired as of yet, will know the identity of the Town Manager. The new Town Manager will not know the identity of the new Police Chief because that is a confidential personnel human resources matter.
Anyone meeting with the new Town Manager will need to sign a non-disclose agreement as to whom that individual is or what he or she or it (gender confusion) may look like. At Representative Town Meeting the unidentified Town Manager will sit behind a white screen to maintain his privacy which, under federal anti-discrimination laws, is a confidential personnel human resources matter. During televised BCTV Selectboard meetings the face of the Town Manager will be blurred out similar to the out-of-focus genitals on the hit television show Naked and Afraid. The public attending Selectboard meetings will be required to wear blindfolds that is not precedent setting. For years elected Representative Town Meeting members have voted on budget issues as if they were wearing ear plugs.
This unnamed spokesperson at the unknown location reiterated the conclusion by the current Selectboard that the residents of Brattleboro will be better served if no one knows who is running the town. Keeping the taxpayers uninformed is a confidential personnel human resources matter.
RLElkins
ROFLMA!!
I hope you are in a career publishing, or a writer for SNL!
Elkins, Why is it..
Elkins,why is it that whenever you refer to transgendered people – or, as you like to call them “gender confused” (which is actually the opposite of what transgendered people are) you always refer to them as “it” ? I know that there are people on this site who think your postings are funny and clever. There’s nothing funny or clever about referring to another human being as”it “(even if it is an imaginary person in one of your posts) Surely someone as clever as you could come up with a more compassionate and accurate term -perhaps even the stop using transgendered folks as an allegedly funny addition to your ‘humorous’posts.
Not straight wood
I always found Elkins stories and humor to be overdrawn. This take-off on my comment in the recent search for police chief article on iBrattleboro is a good example.
It is definitely not SNL material and nothing to roll over with laughter about.
Thanks KAlden, for commenting on this confused person who thinks gender confusion defines people who are not straight wood.
As a lifelong bisexual I’ve heard that too many times. I usually wrote them off as silly and confused themselves.
If anything, tg’s/bisexuals definitely know who they are and what they want. They also tend to have better sex lives than most people (more options=more pleasure and diversity to know what we want in terms of the physical and emotional duration and intensity of relationships.)
SNL? Not really.
The use of transgendered people in Elkins posts – for the sake of “humor” really pisses me off. I know several transgendered people and they are incredibly clear about exactly who they are. In this society being able to step forward and live your own truth is a courageous and difficult act. There’s nothing “funny” or “confused” about people who have the strength to live the life they were meant to live. And, no…definitely not SNL worthy.
Spot on KAlden
Also, I’d add …nothing “funny” or “confused” about people who have the strength to live the life they “want” to live.
Elkins Calls a Spade a Spade.
I think Elkin’s writings are very much a reflection of how people on the outside view what goes on in Brattleboro. I base this on many conversations I’ve had with people about Brattleboro. I’ve heard it referred to as “The Northampton of Vermont”. So I guess it’s really something you should be proud of and not offended if you’re true to your identity with Brattleboro.
I disagree with your
I disagree with your observation. Elkin’s posts are a reflection of what that particular individual thinks and what he ( or she) perceives as humor or cleverness. I don’t think there are many people who have any degree of intelligence, compassion or the ability to look beyond their own small minded world who would call another human being – regardless of their gender identity an “it”. If Elkin is so determined to mention transgender people in his posts perhaps acquiring a little knowledge about the transgender community would be helpful.I’d certainly rather have Brattleboro be know as the “Northampton of Vermont” -whatever that’s even supposed to mean -than be known as a town of bigots and homophobes. And, for the record, I think Northampton is a lovely, vibrant, cultured town – pleasure to visit anytime. I’m not really sure what you mean by your last sentence: “it’s really something you should be proud of and not offended if you’re true to your identity with Brattleboro” I am usually quite proud to be a resident of this town -for all it’s faults I still love living here. And I will always be offended by ignorant, hateful comments about any group of people – even if it’s supposed to be “funny”.