Alt Brattleboros

An enigmatic Chinese proverb goes something like this: A farmer and his wife have a newborn son, and the neighbors come over to congratulate them. “Now you have an heir to work the field, how great!” The farmer says…”We’ll see.” The child grows to be a strong young man, he indeed was a helper to his parents, but one day he falls off a horse and breaks his leg. The neighbors converge to offer their sympathies, the farmer simply says, “We’ll see.“  Soon thereafter state officials arrive to conscribe all young men of the region into military service. The farmer’s son is deferred because of his disability. The son says to his father, “I guess that was a blessing in disguise.“ ”We’ll see…”

The Esplanade:

After the loss of Island Park in the flood of ’27, the town’s planners realize the waterfront is just too great an asset to ignore, and set to work on a world class boardwalk adjacent to town, along the banks of the Connecticut River. Shops and Cafes build their establishments with both front and back in mind. Main street remains vibrant, but the real unique draw to town is the bucolic promenade running from the train station to the Iron Railroad bridge. Before long an autumn tradition develops where throngs of people amble along while overhead geese make their annual migration south. Lucky walkers find the occasional result of a zealously flapped wing, these auspicious artifacts are especially prized and the happening grows into a regional event, known as, ‘The Strolling of the Feathers.’

Bush Comes to Town

Continuing a grudge begat by an unwelcome visit by then VP GHW Bush, Brattleboro ups the ante in 1991 by issuing an arrest warrant for now president Bush related to transgressions in Operation Desert Storm. Towns and Cities the world over take inspiration from this protest, emulate the action, resulting in a massive pressure campaign that culminates in Bush resigning from office rather than facing prosecution at the World Court. Dan Quayle assumes the presidency, and chooses as his Vice-President, Oliver North. In the presidential race of ’92, North forces Quayle out and goes on to beat barely known Arkansas governor Bill Clinton. President North is later convicted of a Federal Crime wherein he removes and leverages top secret documents. He attempts to pardon himself, but a Democratically controlled Congress is able to pass a Constitutional Amendment preventing an Executive Officer from exonerating themself for Crimes against the Nation.

Vermont Yankee Two-Step

Not long after shutting down the nuclear plant in Vernon, awareness of our planet warming to dangerous degrees drives a push to reestablish nuclear power as an accessible green energy. Especially in areas where Solar and Wind are intermittently available. A consortium of billionaires launch a company that drops newly designed plants in the footprint of old reactors. Radioactive waste is flown to Mars on their rockets, used to power colonies they have established there. The upside for Brattleboro is that combustion engines are diminished in favor of public transport and alternative power. There is now so much abundant energy and new revenue, an electric monorail is built that snakes though the town, with cabled-cars suspended below the platform on an electric rail, and above is a scenic paved golf cart, e-bike, scooter, and pedestrian viaduct.

Ernie Johnson’s Jr.’s Nuggets

Famed sports announcer and son of Brattleboro native Ernie Johnson Sr. returns to the ancestral home each year throughout his storied broadcasting career. He establishes a ceremony where one superstar comes to town, each year a surprise, and relates an unknown gem from their careers. They accompany this revelation with a donation to the “Ernie Johnson Jr.’s ‘I Never Would Have Guessed That’ Scholarship Fund.” The event is a huge popular hit, and each year increasingly rich and famous players from diverse sports arrive to offer boons and an anecdote that raises the bar in generosity and amazement. Eventually the fund is so flush that a decision is made to redirect some money and completely redo Living Memorial Park— the Skating Rink, Pool, T- Bar and Skatepark. Random BASIC alums join up with erstwhile members of SOPC, hockey moms, and Living Memorial Park Snow Sports, Inc. volunteers, forming a strange bedfellow advocacy group to stall the initiative.