The Bondville UFO

It looks like a UFO has landed at the Bondville Fair. As the flying disc stops spinning and comes to a full stop, the doorway opens up as if the aliens were about to come out to make contact. Instead, it was some slightly dizzy kids.  Looks like fun.

We approach the Starship 3000 with eager anticipation. The rotating metal contraption was built, one might guess, when Close Encounter of the Third Kind was released in theaters or shortly thereafter. 

We are told, somewhat suspiciously, to take all of our belongings out of our pockets and leave them outside the spaceship. Wallets, keys, purses, phones, and more all go into a communal pile on a white folding table.

We show our wristbands to confirm our seats on the spaceship. Entering, however, we see there are no seats. The circular room is ringed with torn, padded walls that lean back at a slight angle. 

The air is stuffy. There are no windows and there is tarp over the top so you can’t see up or out.

There are no seat belts or harnesses. The only safety gear are mangled, rusty handrails to guide you to your spot along the wall. 

The floor has had decades of spilled and barfed fair food hosed off, leaving stains and rust.  A musty carnival smell permeates.

We find spots along the wall. There is a group of teenage girls across the way sticking close together as well as some solo riders.

Children operate the ride. The oldest, maybe 16, sits in the center of the spaceship at the control panel. There is a big fan blowing on him and the day isn’t even at peak temperature.

A younger brother walks around the inside checking with each of us. Checking means going around and slapping hands with everyone on the ride. It was odd but friendly, though had a touch of  “hope you survive!” to it.

Another young child is wearing a shirt that says “I belong to a carny” and looks as if she has been on this contraption since she was born.

The door closes. The music is turned on full blast – Journey – “Don’t Stop Believing” and we start to spin.

The ride spins fast! The centrifugal force is amazing and we are instantly glued to the padded walls. Screams are heard over music.

When we hit top speed, all hell beaks loose. Some of the padded wall pieces go shooting up rails, lifting us off the floor. More screaming. Lots of laughing. We can barely open our eyes.  (After, all of us would swear that the room was tilting, though we saw no evidence of it from outside the ride.) At one point it seemed as if we may have broken loose and rolled down to Townshend. : )

At peak dizziness, the thought crosses one’s mind that perhaps our wallets our being emptied outside. But, wheeee!

And then, the songs starts winding down and so does the ride. We’re still spinning, but slower and slower. Padded back rests drop back down to the floor and we start to open our eyes again.

The ride stops, the spaceship door opens, and we dizzy aliens make our landing on planet Earth to gather our belongings.

“That was messed up!   Wanna do it again?”

…

We walk by later and the kids operating the ride are playing with the sound system, trying out some singing and rapping while they wait for crowds to build.