For any skeptics and scoffers out there, I would say that you should consider looking to the skies tonight, sometime after 6 PM. Our best psychics on the faculty at the University of Brattleboro, (the Oldest Non-Existent University in New England) when the UFAUXs are expected to materialize, somewhere above Elliot or Flat Street.
Many people have objected to the photos of UFOs that we have posted, claiming that they were obviously the creation of someone with too much time on their hands, and not enough talent with photoshop. They made these derisive, disparaging, and downright dangerous comments, despite the darn fact that the photos were authenticated by the University of Brattleboro photo labs. They also ignored the fact that these photos have been re-posted on legitimate, “UFOs are Real” websites, as the real deal. (Just google Brattleboro UFO photo, and see what you get, alongside the iBrattleboro postings.
We encourage you to bring cameras. We will post photos if we get any good pics of course, but the more cameras, the merrier.
Sincerely,
Dr Balderdash
I think he meant to say . . .
“According to our best psychics on the faculty at the University of Brattleboro, (the Oldest Non-Existent University in New England) 6 PM is when the UFAUXs are expected to materialize, somewhere above Elliot or Flat Street.”
BEST EVER
Tonight’s launch was the best UFAUX, ever, both from a technical standpoint and the number of people who stopped and looked at it, and said they had no idea, whatsoever, at what they were looking at. It really was a UFO, and moved in a way that was completely, delightfully alien.
What accounts for the improvement?
Do you think these aliens were using new technologies this time around, or had they simply better-mastered or improved their previous flying ships?
The Absence of Wind, and Moon
Really, I suspect that what they did was take advantage of the near absence of wind, combined with the moonless and cloudy conditions.
The absence of wind would mean that they could let out as much line from the fishing pole as needed, so that the Helium party balloons could go more nearly straight up, and not risk tangling with with any electric pole line. Height is what makes the illusion work.
The moonless night, combined with the height, made it possible to make the balloons disappear. Thus, all that was left was a light, mysteriously moving this way and that, that way and this, erratically. Such a light could not be firefly, it could not be a helicopter, it could not be a jet and I don’t think it could be a drone.
Thus, it really was a UFO, and not just a UFAUX.
Making our town more attractive to intergalactic visitors
In addition to surveying local people: Those working toward a shared workspace in Brattleboro should try to make contact with these interstellar visitors. Those flying saucer commuters may find it impractical to rent an office full time, and they might appreciate being able to set up their operations on an as-needed basis.
If there is shared equipment, perhaps they would even contribute devices that we could never even dream of. This very practical mutual aid could work out to everyone’s benefit.